Friday was my last day of work. And I’m supposed to be happy about this…right? I mean, anyone that’s ever had a full-time job understands there are moments when you’d rather pull your eyelashes out one-by-one than go to work. Maybe your job is in the eyelash business and you’d rather not think about eyelashes all together. But that’s beside the point. What I’m trying to say is…on my last day of work, I was sad.
Like, really sad.
Maybe if I were quitting to travel the world, that would be one thing. And I may or may not have already done that. But, there’s something about quitting because you’re sick and it’s time to stay home and chill out because you have LUNG DISEASE! that makes it a real bummer.
But seriously, working had been so great for me through all of this. I loved my job. I loved my coworkers. I’d get up in the morning. Put pants on. Put lipstick on. And get my butt out the door. It was nice staying busy without having to think about lungs or needing new ones. Not to mention, Henry and I would carpool together to Salt Lake and that usually involved 45 minutes each way of Beyonce lip sync battles, NPR podcasts, and how-many-chicken-nuggets-can-you-fit-into-your-mouth-at-once competitions. You know, “quality time” (we’re going on a diet).
Day one of kept-woman status, was spent with my sister on her birthday. One part, the funnest day ever, another part anxious ball of nerves. I was in charge of keeping her surprise party a secret. A feat, that if you knew me, was a sheer miracle in and of itself. I used five tanks of oxygen that day…Five! (Picture scuba-diving on land).
Day two, I was a cleaning machine. Pick up clothes. nap. Laundry. nap. Fold clothes. Lay down. Put clothes away. sit. Organize book collection. sit. Make bed. Lay in made bed. Not to mention I got winded doing the dumbest things. I picked up a bundle of bobby pins off the floor, which were the last four to my 5,000 piece collection (where the others have gone, I’ll never know), and I had to compose myself for a few moments afterwards. All in a days work.
I’m currently in the middle of day 3. I’m still in my jammies and bra-less, drinking orange cream soda. I think I spent a good 40 minutes sitting on the couch, staring out the window. I did manage to curl my hair. It’s 2 in the afternoon. I guess I’m still trying to get the hang of this.
I know what some of you are thinking…this all sounds like a dream. And maybe it is. But I’ve learned from experience that time off is fun for about the first couple weeks; then the cabin fever sets in and the little voices start talking. So I just need to stay productive, or else I have too much time to, well, not be. I’ve decided to make a list of all the things I plan on doing while at home. Just a few things to keep me motivated. P.S. They can’t involve a lot of breathing.
Here it goes:
- Crochet socks for my feet and hands…this house is freezing!
- Eat & Cook healthy (who am I kidding)/ semi-healthy foods
- Exercise: AKA Slow walks around the block (Note to Mackenzie: spending your morning watching Instagram yoga pose videos doesn’t count. How do they bend that way?!? HOW!?)
- Learn the romantic languages: Italian, French, Spanish, Pig Latin, Klingon
- Master different Pinterest hairstyles: The Double-Dutch Braided Bun and Braided Side Pony, The Half-Up faux hawk, the I’m-trying-but-I’m-not-trying sporty looks for girls who can’t even, and everything in the “40 Adorable Hippie Hairstyles to Make You Look Cool” and “Deeply sensuous hairstyles” tutorials.
- Improve piano skills and give Lang Lang a run for his Yuan.
- Color code Henry’s sock drawer and organize his chambray shirt collection
- Decode the Voynich Manuscript
- I’m gonna read so many books that, in a few weeks, John Travolta in Phenomenon, will have nothing on me. I’ll be growing bus-sized cucumbers, turning pig manuer into fuel and moving pencils with my mind!
Just you wait. This period of my life will prove to be transformative. Where I once dreamed of taking time for myself, I now have that time in abundance. I get to go to work…on myself. Improve. Grow. Learn. And maybe finally finish the remaining seasons of Gilmore Girls. Cuz that’s important…right?